Between Leo’s accident, a rough pregnancy, and the exhaustion of the first year of being parents, I feel like I’ve lost the last 2 years of my life. Lol! I also realized that I hadn’t written out the story of our miracle.
It’s long, but worth the read! Even as I’m typing this out, it isn’t lost on me that some of the characters in this story were people God used to bring other seasons of my life full-circle in HIS story of redemption.
For those of you who have known us for a while, you know that I had quite a few years when I struggled with my health. As soon as we were married, we took the “we’ll trust God” approach with growing our family, and didn’t really use any measures to prevent it from happening.
After a while, we knew something was wrong.
After finally seeing a fertility specialist here once we go to the States, we got some heartbreaking news: I probably wouldn’t be able to get pregnant. He said “we could pump you full of hormones and try, but if I were you, I’d think about just saving my money.” We were determined to do something, but the day I went in for another check-up, the doctor found yet another cyst on my ovaries and said that there was nothing he could do.
That was in 2014, right around when we got Canela.
Our marriage had been through some hard times before, but nothing like that year. I felt so guilty, so ashamed, so sorry that Leo had married me. I knew he would be an amazing dad, and I felt like I was holding him back from something he was made to do.
We had to take an honest look at each other and ask
“Am I enough for you?”
“Are we enough for each other?”
“If it is just the two of us for the rest of our lives, will we be ok?”
We had to die to the idea of being parents.
Sidenote: Yes, adoption is an option for most couples, but this is before Leo was able to become a citizen, and we knew we weren’t in the place to even try to adopt or foster.
Fast forward 2 years to the accident. Leo had taken a brave step to quit his job so he could focus on his ministry and music full-time, and 2 days later falls and shatters his elbow.
Our dog was about to have puppies.
It was crazy!
As people were coming over to our house to pray for Leo’s healing, a few of them bluntly said
“I feel like Jesus not only wants to heal Leo, but wants to heal you, too”.
Not just one person… but a few!
*I have had MANY people pray for me over the years… hands on my belly, crying out to Jesus kinds of prayers… “seeing- us-with-a-crib” kind of prayers… and I had honestly not really put any stock in prayers for a baby for a LONG time… but this time was different.
Leo’s mom had come to visit and celebrate Leo’s citizenship ceremony with us, and in the stress of it all, I went off the rails with my diet. (I had completely changed my eating habits after the news of our infertility to try to help keep my hormones balanced). I had another bout with a cyst and anemia that about took me down for a while. The worst days of bleeding, I was in a dear friend’s wedding, or else I would’ve gone to the hospital.
It didn’t feel like God had heard any of the prayers that I was finally willing to let others pray.
In desperation, I found a Groupon for acupuncture. I was willing to try anything to get my hormones and cycle back on track. And, just as God would have it, the precious acupuncturist is a Chinese Christian who goes to Vineyard! She spoke life over my body, almost prophesying as I laid there on her table for 6 sessions over the few weeks. My period finally stopped. I was so grateful!
I had also made an appointment at my OB’s office to see if they could figure out what was going on. I remember going in, and having the ultrasound tech look at everything. I hadn’t seen my ovaries since the fertility doc, and all I remember then was seeing the cyst. This time was different, however. This time, instead of cysts, my ovaries were full of follicles. I mean, I had never seen that with all the different ultrasounds over the years! The tech said
“I don’t know… everything looks perfectly healthy and normal.”
I laughed. I had never heard that before!
In that moment, I felt the Lord say “Get ready!”.
The following week, we were having a worship and healing night at our church. I always stand towards the back of the sanctuary, just hanging back and watching what Jesus is doing. Leo was running sound that night, so I just sat in my own little section of chairs on the main floor in the back.
I remember seeing a precious Indian family up in the next section. During the ministry time, I walked over and offered to pray for them. They were grateful, and Jesus really moved! After I was done, the woman looked at me and said
“While we were worshipping, I saw you in the corner. The Lord told me that you were going to come pray for me, and that I need to pray for you to have a baby.”
Uh… what?! Ok.
She went on to say “Do you mind if I pray for you in my native language?”
She poured out her heart to God on my behalf for what seemed like 30 minutes. It was beautiful. I felt something break off of me, and there was so much peace!
2 days later we left for Colombia for a month.
We got back from our vacation, and while Leo was leading worship at church, I was home. I decided to take a pregnancy test, since I hadn’t had my period since the bleeding episode almost 2 months before.
It was positive.
I can’t tell you how many tests I’ve taken.
This was the first one that was ever positive.
I was sitting in the bathroom, shaking. I doubted the test. I took another one. Positive. I thought that maybe it was just that brand, so I took another one that used words instead of symbols.
I cried. I debated calling my best friend, but decided that I should wait to tell Leo first.
On one of our more hopeful trips to Colombia, we had purchased a baby-sized Colombian soccer jersey. We kept it out until I couldn’t look at it anymore, and I buried it in a dresser drawer.
It took a while to remember, but I found the little jersey, and wrapped the pregnancy tests up in it.
When Leo got home, I presented it to him.
“What is this?” He asked?
“I think we’re going to have a baby!” I cried.
We laughed and cried all night!
The next day was Friday, and I called the OB’s office to schedule a blood test and another ultrasound.
They were able to get me in right away for the blood test, and confirmed that I was, indeed, pregnant.
We saw my parents that weekend, for the first time since we had been back from Colombia.
My mom pulled me aside and asked
“Honey, were you in a place where you could foster or adopt any kids?”
“No, why?” I replied
“I had an incredible, tangible experience with the Lord, where I felt Him tell me that you were going to meet your child in Colombia.”
Because of all the pain we’d experienced, we didn’t really include our parents in any of our infertility journey… we didn’t want to cause them pain as well… and we had lost previous pregnancies (that we found out about after the fact) that we also hadn’t included them in on, so I wasn’t really ready to share.
So, I just kept sipping my water, and without looking at my mom said
“Nope, we weren’t doing any ministry with kids this time.”
She slowly replied “That is so weird. It was such an intense experience, and I just prayed for you everyday you were there.”
When we had the ultrasound that following week and heard the little heartbeat, we called both sets of parents to share the news and to ask for prayer.
I told my mom “We didn’t meet our baby in Colombia, but it looks like we made it there.”
Our little miracle baby was “made in Colombia” and due on the 4th of July.
Already showing his bi-cultural side!